Biscuit Club: let the battle begin

13 Sep

(US), (Canadian) Biscuit: a kind of small roll similar to a muffin.
(Brit) Biscuit: a small flat dry sweet or plain cake.

We’re only concerned with the latter here, American biscuits are not my forte whereas, anyone who knows me will testify to this, when it comes to British/European biscuits I should be somewhat of an expert considering the amount I eat. To me biscuits are a step above all sweet snacks for the simple reason that a cup of tea just isn’t the same without one or two or three…
Biscuits are a bit of an obsession in Ireland. If you don’t believe me just invite an Irish person over for tea and tell them you’re out of biscuits, not much fun is it? So intense is our love, weekly cash collections take place in offices up and down the country to replace depleted biscuit stocks in the canteen. Who wants to spend 8 biscuitless hours in work? not me.

Seeing as I eat vast quantities and think a lot about biscuits it made sense to compile a list of the best on the market. Foolish decision, its sort of like beginning a masters thesis and suddenly realising you hadn’t envisaged this much work. Just take a walk down the biscuit isle in your local supermarket and you’ll soon see what I mean. With that said I powered on and consumed endless amounts of buttery sweet crumbly goodness all in the name of research.

McVities Digestives: The name is derived from the belief that these semi sweet biscuits had antacid properties that aided digestion. Now that I can’t honestly swear to but I will vouch for their tastiness. Few varieties go better with a cup of tea, a rather important factor. Coarse brown wheat flour and malt extract provide the distinctive texture and flavour.

McVities Chocolate Digestives: Okay, so its just a digestive coated on one side with milk chocolate. Or so it would seem, however, this is a totally different beast. You only need to recount ‘Biscuitgate’ in 2009 where the press speculated over what biscuit Gordon Brown preferred after he confessed to a preference for a chocolate variety. Turns out that happened to be the chocolate digestive, enough said. Spectacular is an understatement.

Fox’s Chocolatey Shortcake Rounds: ‘Shortcake biscuits nestling inside a thick wrap of gorgeous milk chocolate’ , an apt description indeed. Apart from the exceptionally good chocolate, there is something much more sophisticated about these than their standard biscuit cousins. If you’ve got someone fancy coming for tea be sure to have these stocked.

Oreos: Undoubtedly the handsomest biscuit on the market with a tuxedo like flair but it didn’t make the list on looks alone. The dark coco-like flavour of the biscuit complements the supremely sweet cream filling for the ultimate all in one bite that is both crunchy and smooth all in one.

Jacob’s Mikados: The Mikado is a true feat of biscuit engineering; soft biscuit layer topped with two lines of fluffy marshmallow separated by a river of raspberry jam sprinkled with coconut. Doesn’t sound like it should work but boy does it ever. For Irish people eating your first Mikado is a rite of passage of sorts, it’s something that must be done and once it is you’re never the same again.


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